Truth be told, I have no privacy anymore. I put my name on my stuff, and my stuff on my blog, and this blog is linked to that blog, and the place where the traders talk is linked to the blog that links to this blog... so that the "Uh" person can come read this if she wants to.
I've been told not to pay it any mind, and I'm trying. It's easier said than done, though. When it all comes down to it, I don't care a lot what people think or I wouldn't trade; I would dress differently; I'd do many things differently. I'm not the world's biggest conformist. Nor am I one of those people still 19-ish in their psychology, declaring, "weird and proud of it!" with a bumper sticker. There are no points or prizes for doing or NOT doing what people expect; we should all be making our own decisions while adhering to the most basic of societal norms (not driving naked, for example, or shouting at the movies) but otherwise unfettered by undue concern for what people who don't matter (people outside our immediate family, for example) think.
I want to keep my dignity and make it clear that of course, it does not matter what the hecklers (and the greater the exposure to the world at large, the larger the number of hecklers) say, but I'm going to be honest and say I don't appreciate being booed at from the audience. Does anyone really love that? Those who say they're fine with it might be lying.
Well, with that out of the way, I'm still up 81% for the year on the pile of money I started with in my venture to trade the dickens out of the pile and generate some green. This means, I think, that I finally learned how to do it. I've been practicing long enough, so it's about time.
I wish I could make this a story about how I instantly became rich, but we have so many crushing debts that this will be the story of how I finally got those beaten down, if the story unfolds as I want it to. I'm having a bad day and feeling like I'm losing my nerve. I'm tired of having such a steep hill to climb; I'm not sure I'm going to make it. These moods don't last long. Check back when my can-do attitude is back. It's not a fake one, when I have it. I'm honest if nothing else, and I'll say it when I'm feeling low, and when I say I'm back in the saddle, that's sincere as well.
keeping one's dignity is a hard task, especially when we are all on line for everyone to see us warts and all. Still, it's worth striving for.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I'm going to reflect on that word, "dignity" and continue the endless task of sifting out what's important, what's not, whose opinion matters and whose does not because they're a person I wouldn't otherwise know except they sought me out as they appear to seek out everyone, because of issues of their own, and probably treat everyone the same way unless they get what they hoped for from that person (I know a little about this person's modus operandi, obviously), and why I am so hard on myself and allow others to contribute to that.
DeleteLike the pile of laundry in my room or the papers I haven't sorted through in ten years, it seems like a task I don't work hard enough on, but I'll try to chip away at it.
Man, I am having such a bad day (continuation from yesterday, for reasons more expansive than that little episode described) but the fog can lift anytime. It's not like bad days have to be segmented completely by nights; it's like the stomach virus - you can feel crappy and then an hour later it's basically gone. I'm going to employ blind faith that my distress will lift; I'm going to reflect on things that are right and stop trying to solve every mental puzzle at once. If it doesn't work, then... I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
Awh, don't fret about the hecklers....they just give you a reality check every now and again and let you know who your real friends are.
ReplyDeleteJust keep on keeping on and go make another yummy cake! ;-)
Sorry I can't seem to be more profound today as I am on my way to the dentist.....
I just rescheduled my dentist appointment for next month. You can do the same. Do it now! From the car! Hurry, before you get there.
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