When it really doesn't matter

We've all heard the trite truism that it should not matter to you what people think of you.  Easier said than adopted as a heartfelt attitude.  Isn't it natural to care, somewhat?

Well, in the broadest sense, of course.  We're social animals who can't risk alienating everyone; we have to keep our heads low and keep quiet at the right times - it's a matter of [social] survival.  And maybe survival in general.  But if we try, we can separate out what's necessary (being civil, not actively and recklessly making enemies) and what consists of opportunities we've been failing to take because we worry that others will judge us negatively or think the wrong things about us.

There's a lot to be gained from working on that goal of self-confidence:  Not putting much stress-out energy into the opinions of others on what you say or do.

I can tell you that I've learned it's really worth working on, though.  It's freeing, if somewhat scary, to go out on the tightrope and know that you'll find out who your friends are, and even worse, what your friends actually think. Which might even prompt you to sort more finely the category of which people you consider to be your friends.

I guess I've gotten old enough that I've learned:  If I don't take the bus now, another one might not come by.  And I'm not waiting till everything seems perfect.  If I lose some friends along the way, so be it.

Believe it or not, after all this suggestive narrative, I'm not even going to reveal or provide all specifics of what I've been working on.  It's not a secret or anything - it's just that I didn't intend this to be a conduit.  And also, specifics aren't needed - this is all-encompassing and generalized, even if I there are particular areas in the zoom-view that have been integral to my attitude adjustment.  Even if you haven't figured out anything specific you want to launch in your life yet, you can still adopt this attitude - it doesn't matter which comes first - it's the "don't care" attitude that's important, although the sooner you employ it, the better.

Tying into the above: Another lesson I've learned is that I should select carefully where I express and promote myself.  Sorry, blog readers, you're going to have to ask (individually) if you want more.  Then I'll happily provide it, if I vaguely know you.  Sadly, a consequence of my new re-evaluation of how/when/where I express myself is that I'm not sure if I'll continue this blog.  I'm not really sure what its purpose is, or who (other than a known few)  I connect to through it.  There are a few people (you know who you are) who I definitely want to keep up with.   As for anyone else who stumbles by reading, I'm not sure I want to keep posting my thoughts publicly.  I still do post a lot of my thoughts and report on a lot of my own actions, in specific areas, and those outlets are found elsewhere.  As for this little journal full of random divulgences?  The future is murky.

Well, until I write my last post, I'll keep on posting.  And I'm definitely not disappearing, I'm just moving in other directions.  Thanks for reading... Keep in touch (and that's meant sincerely, not as a hollow "Bye!" substitute.)  Happy blog writing and reading....

If this sounded like a negative post, it assuredly was meant to be positive.  It might have a bittersweet  tone, because I'm "graduating."  The operative word in "growing pains" is the little bit of necessary "pain."  I revived this blog only to keep it as a health journal for someone else, and I'm not sure there's a lot to report there, except steady and continued improvement, which is great, but hardly makes for scintillating conversation.  As for me and my current new operating procedures, the pain is worth the gain. I wouldn't be out there pulling my figurative hamstrings if it wasn't worth every second of effort to get somewhere new and see some new sights.

Well... Until next time!